No offense: Candor on social media lands columnist in hot water
 |
| Best not to point out the obvious. |
By Annandale humorist Robert Schwaninger
In the world of social media one can
express thoughts, ideas, ruminations or simply show pictures of your newest
grandchild throttling the neighbor’s cat. With near impunity, people will
post stories about their grandfather’s coma or show pictures of a rash and ask
“so what do you think this might be?” And everyone can express their
opinions.
express thoughts, ideas, ruminations or simply show pictures of your newest
grandchild throttling the neighbor’s cat. With near impunity, people will
post stories about their grandfather’s coma or show pictures of a rash and ask
“so what do you think this might be?” And everyone can express their
opinions.
If you are a provocateur like me,
expressing opinions and observations can backfire in acidic responses that one
double-checks to find out if they were posted incorrectly and were actually
meant for someone else, say, Ted Bundy. Instead, I have found that I have
the ability to offend nearly anyone.
expressing opinions and observations can backfire in acidic responses that one
double-checks to find out if they were posted incorrectly and were actually
meant for someone else, say, Ted Bundy. Instead, I have found that I have
the ability to offend nearly anyone.
And though it is never my intent to
insult or offend anyone by what I write, I am beginning to discover that my
crippled contributions to Facebook or any other medium are entirely
flawed. When I compare what I write to other people’s efforts, there are
definitely oceans of differences in style and content.
 |
| Use with caution. |
First, I am weighted down and consumed by
the devil known as candor. Candor has me in its evil grip and when I try
to wiggle free and escape, it drags me back to my true beliefs and punches me
in the stomach until I gaspingly utter the truth. Trust me, social media ain’t
no place to tell the truth.
After receiving a picture of someone’s new
baby, best not to note that the baby’s head has a decided point. When
someone has changed religions, diplomacy dictates that you do not ask, “is that
the one where they handle snakes?” And if responding to a sibling’s post,
one does not give up their past by remarking, “oh yeah, that was the night you
wet the bed.”
baby, best not to note that the baby’s head has a decided point. When
someone has changed religions, diplomacy dictates that you do not ask, “is that
the one where they handle snakes?” And if responding to a sibling’s post,
one does not give up their past by remarking, “oh yeah, that was the night you
wet the bed.”
Second, avoid all topics that involve an
opinion. Gun rights, abortion, the national debt, or whether Wal-Mart
should have a dress code are all out of bounds. It makes no difference
what you post, you will insult someone’s sense of reality. Often the
responses start with phrases like “how dare you” or “I can’t believe” or my
personal favorite, “I have begun hunting you.”
opinion. Gun rights, abortion, the national debt, or whether Wal-Mart
should have a dress code are all out of bounds. It makes no difference
what you post, you will insult someone’s sense of reality. Often the
responses start with phrases like “how dare you” or “I can’t believe” or my
personal favorite, “I have begun hunting you.”
The effect of reading messages from these
highly offended folks who have graciously taken their time to detail what a
mouth-breathing moron you are is a kind of self-examination that makes you
wonder whether you unknowingly devolved from the phylum. Often I have
considered crafting a suicide note in response, but I decided not to give them
the pleasure.
highly offended folks who have graciously taken their time to detail what a
mouth-breathing moron you are is a kind of self-examination that makes you
wonder whether you unknowingly devolved from the phylum. Often I have
considered crafting a suicide note in response, but I decided not to give them
the pleasure.
Lastly, be careful with “me too” statements
or the Facebook “like” button. What can happen is that the original post
to which you are responding might say something like, “I really enjoyed the
weather today.” [Like] Followed by, “The wind was just right for blowing the
smell away from the cadaver I just buried in my neighbor’s yard.” Yikes!
or the Facebook “like” button. What can happen is that the original post
to which you are responding might say something like, “I really enjoyed the
weather today.” [Like] Followed by, “The wind was just right for blowing the
smell away from the cadaver I just buried in my neighbor’s yard.” Yikes!
You are now linked to and “like” this whack
job and now people get to respond not only to the weirdo but to your
like. You have now gone from cheerful contributor to co-conspirator with
the press of a button.
job and now people get to respond not only to the weirdo but to your
like. You have now gone from cheerful contributor to co-conspirator with
the press of a button.
So here’s my suggestion to avoid offending
anyone who participates in social media sites: Only use words found in
books read by persons under the age of 6. Everything that anyone posts
about family or pets is simply “nice.” And never press the like button. If
you do these things, using an alias, you might be able to avoid offending
someone. But, I doubt it.
anyone who participates in social media sites: Only use words found in
books read by persons under the age of 6. Everything that anyone posts
about family or pets is simply “nice.” And never press the like button. If
you do these things, using an alias, you might be able to avoid offending
someone. But, I doubt it.
