Tag: humor
Misery by the yard
By Robert Schwaninger There are many times in our lives when we will open a drawer and pull out an object that is wholly foreign to us. At first, we may not be able to identify its use. We certainly can’t pinpoint its origin. And we know that we haven’t used it for at least … Continued
Gym Dandy
By Annandale humorist Robert Schwaninger I had an occasion to go to a place called a “gym” where people do something referred to as “working out,” which sounds like what my belly is attempting to do over my belt. Now, if you’ve never ventured into one of these odd places to view the denizens, you … Continued
Annandale video goes viral
Dodging traffic in Annandale: a screen shot from the video by Angelo Mike. Angelo Mike doesn’t actually hate Annandale – despite the hilarious video he made titled “Welcome to the Shithole of Annandale VA,” which got to the top spot on the video page on Reddit a couple of days ago. And that’s a big … Continued
Winter preppers
By Robert Schwaninger As I traveled to the Giant to watch people pile carts with milk and toilet paper, making me wonder what they drink and apply when it’s not snowing, I felt that I was witnessing doomsday preparations. As though with the fall of a few flakes we all would be plunged into a … Continued
Not ready for Christmas? Don’t panic
By Annandale humorist Robert Schwaninger Like many things around the holidays, this column is woefully late. It is, therefore, the very symbol of Christmas. Unless you are one of those people who starts buying gifts in July for people who might be dead by Thanksgiving, I am reasonably certain that not everything has gone smoothly during … Continued
The Rongs of Spring: This season offers plenty to gripe about
A rabbit enjoys the tall grass in this Annandale backyard. By Annandale humorist Robert Schwaninger Now that Spring has sprung and pollen hangs in the air like a green fog that covers cars, cats, and nasal passages with dusty abandon, we can look forward to the blossoming of flowers, the buzz of bees, and our … Continued
Winter warblers: One of the more annoying aspects of the holiday season
We hope the owners of this home on Murray Lane, Annandale, like carolers. By Robert Schwaninger There is something you should consider each year before you put up your Christmas lights. A holiday-lit house attracts carolers. Just like a porch light in summer brings annoying moths and window-beating June bugs, lights on trees in winter … Continued
A germ of an idea
A common sight in Annandale. By Annandale humorist Robert Schwaninger About a decade ago we saw the advent of many changes in society. Women started showing cleavage, Lady Gaga was no longer words blubbered out of a baby’s mouth, and Boston finally won a World Series. Many of the changes were positive. Some changes were … Continued
No offense: Candor on social media lands columnist in hot water
Best not to point out the obvious. By Annandale humorist Robert Schwaninger In the world of social media one can express thoughts, ideas, ruminations or simply show pictures of your newest grandchild throttling the neighbor’s cat. With near impunity, people will post stories about their grandfather’s coma or show pictures of a rash and ask “so … Continued
Rafael’s Laura: a woman of mystery
By Annandale humorist Robert Schwaninger I recently attended a local, political event where people gather to talk politics but wound up talking about nearly anything else. When you are in a room full of folks who are politically adroit and generally in agreement, then every utterance seems redundant or simply obvious. So, thankfully, there are … Continued
What not to buy
By Robert Schwaninger As I have repeatedly admitted, my knowledge of what to buy my wife, Isabel, or practically anyone else is only slightly better than my knowledge of 16th century Croatian folk dancing. Therefore, if you are having trouble coming up with a gift idea, don’t call me. I will not be able to … Continued
Peering Into the Darkness
By Robert Schwaninger There comes a time when you accept the fact you have reached middle age. For those who don’t know when middle age starts, it’s when the creak when you get up is your back not the chair and raw vegetables become the enemy. Not too many years ago I had to realize … Continued
Contractors and Crapscape
By Robert Schwaninger In 2000 my wife, Isabel, and I decided to move from our townhouse to a single-family detached home in Annandale. What the house is supposedly detached from is up to speculation, but along with the house we got our own half acre of land. For those who don’t know what land is, … Continued