Teen Advocates educate their peers on healthy relationships

Dozens of teens from across Fairfax County gathered at the Minnie Peyton Community Center in Bailey’s Crossroads on Feb. 6 to talk about the differences between healthy and abusive dating relationships.

The youths, members of the Fairfax County Teen Advocates, decorated the walls with posters they had created, presented speeches, and organized activities for their peers to raise awareness about dating and sexual violence.

The program was hosted by Fairfax County Domestic and Sexual Violence Services in the Department of Family Services.

At one table, students created a mural. Other groups made watercolor paintings or participated in a creative writing exercise. An improv group acted out scenarios where students practiced how they would respond to a friend involved in an abusive situation.

It’s better to learn about healthy and abusive relationships now before you get into one, said Seth a senior at Falls Church High School. A friend of his had a controlling boyfriend. “When she wanted to see her other friends, he had a problem with it.”

“Our generation doesn’t know the difference between a good relationship and a toxic one,” said Jonathan, a ninth-grader at Justice High School. He knows a girl whose boyfriend tried to manage her social media postings. He’s glad they broke up.

A poster created by Danny, a sophomore at Justice, lists the qualities of a positive relationship, such as communication, respect, trust, and enjoying personal time away from each other. His list of red flags indicating an abusive relationship included isolating a partner from others, falsely accusing a partner of cheating, and threatening violence.

Debra Miller, a youth education and outreach specialist with Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, said 77 teens applied for the Teen Advocates program and all were accepted. About 30 students regularly attend monthly meetings at community centers. The Department of Neighborhood and Community Services provides transportation to the meetings.

“Teen advocates are individuals who are choosing to step up, speak out, and take action on the issues that matter most to them. They are determined to not only raise awareness but also drive change,” Jia, a ninth-grader at West Springfield High School, told the group.

“We understand how important it is to build relationships that are healthy, respectful, and free from harm,” Jia said.

Jia and Drew, a 10th grader at Woodson High School, created a poster with a butterfly net. They asked their peers to select a paper butterfly and write a word on it describing a relationship behavior that they want to hold on to – such as patience or honesty – and attach it inside the net. They wrote a behavior they want to let go of – such as jealousy or violence – on another butterfly and put it outside the net.

Drew said it’s important for teens to know about the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship “to set yourself up for the future so you don’t get stuck in a pattern of abuse.”

Anyone involved in an abusive relationship is encouraged to call the Domestic and Sexual Violence 24-Hour Hotline at 703-360-7273.