Troubled teens find sanctuary at Alternative House

When local teens flee an abusive home life, get kicked out by their parents, or find life on the streets too tough, they can find a welcoming sanctuary at the Alternative House.

The emergency shelter, on Gallows Road in the Tysons Corner area, served more than 200 in crisis teens last year.

Among them were two brothers, ages 13 and 16, from Prince William County, who had no where else to go. Their mother was a drug user with mental health issues, and their father had recently gotten of jail. The father’s girlfriend refused to take them in. They wrecked their father’s pick-up truck and were both facing criminal charges. Neither one had been in school for over six months.

At the Alternative House, counselors helped the older boy study for the GED exam and relocate with relatives in the Midwest. They arranged for the younger brother to return to his father’s home with the support of Child Protective Services and return to school.

In another case, the police picked up a young girl who had been sleeping in the doorway at the Borders book store in Tysons Corner with her mentally ill, homeless mother, and brought her to the Alternative House. The counselors found a relative to take in the girl. She eventually got a scholarship to attend the University of Delaware and plans to graduate next year.

I learned about these and stories at an open house hosted by Alternative House Executive Director Judith Dittman and Development Director Gina Cocomello Aug. 5.

Up to eight kids can stay at one time, but staff will squeeze in two more if there’s an emergency. The average stay is 11 days.

In recent months, the shelter has seen more victims of the troubled economy, which has led to a rise in homelessness and more stress within families facing the loss of jobs or homes, says Dittman. Demand for beds at the Alternative House is up 17 percent from last year.

Some kids had lived on the streets for years; others are from suburban homes. “We’re seeing a lot of ‘throw-aways,” Dittman says. “Parents fed up with troubled, violent teens beating up their younger siblings sometimes just turn them out on the streets when they feel they can no longer deal with them.”

Many of these kids resort to “couch surfing” at other people’s houses and end up on the street or living in a car when they run out of places to crash.

The shelter recently welcomed a girl from a very strict Muslim family who had recently immigrated and hadn’t been willing to accommodate American culture. Their daughter ran away after her father threatened to kill her for doing normal things like talking to a boy. After a short stay at Alternative House, the staff found her a place to stay with an aunt in Texas because “we were afraid for her life if she stayed here,” Dittman says.

Teens staying at Alternative House take part in individual, group, and family counseling, and, if necessary, anger management sessions. The goal for most kids is to reconnect them with their families, Dittman says. “Last year, 90 percent of kids who came from an intact family went home to their families.”

During the school year, Alternative House arranges for cabs to take teens to their home schools. Tutors are brought in for kids who have been suspended.

“But for many teens whose lives are in the crisis, the main objective is to provide counseling to get their lives back on track,” says Dittman. Residents must adhere to a strict schedule that includes time for studying and chores. She concedes it’s difficult for a teen who had been living on the streets to adapt to such rules as “lights out at 10.”

Dittmer recalls one HIV-positive girl who had been living on the streets of New York City for two years after her mother had died of AIDS. “She wouldn’t have survived if she hadn’t come here.”

The house has bedrooms for the residents—two share a room—along with a living room for group counseling sessions, an art room craft projects, a large kitchen with a communal dining table, a recreation room with foosball, computers with limited Internet access, a backyard with a basketball court, and several rooms for administrators and counselors. Staff is present 24/7, and there is a 24-hour crisis hotline (800-SAY-TEEN).

Volunteers are essential for the smooth running of Alternative House. They come in to cook dinner for the teens or bring in take-out. Since the residents often show up with just the clothes on their backs, donated clothes are stockpiled for those in need.

One-third of the funding for Alternative House’s annual budget of $600,000 comes from the federal government, another third comes from Fairfax County, and the rest comes from donations from the faith community, foundations, and individuals. There is no charge to families. Fundraising events, including an annual 8K race in the spring and a breakfast in October, supplement the budget. Local companies have also chipped in for such things as landscaping and roof repairs.

Nearly a third of the Alternative House budget goes to outreach efforts, including a van, staffed with counselors, that roams the streets in search of troubled teens; a teen center in the Culmore area; and the Safe Youth Project housed at the St. Barnabas Episcopal Church for fourth through eighth-graders at Braddock Elementary School in Annandale.

Another Alternative House program, Assisting Young Mothers, serves young women age 16 to 24 who are pregnant or have small children. Many of them dropped out of high school and ended up homeless. Virtually all them had been exposed to domestic violence and had mothers who themselves had become pregnant as teenagers.

Residents must either work or complete their high school diploma or take some kind of training. Counselors teach parenting and other life skills, such as budgeting and nutrition.

The next project for Alternative House is a transitional house and housing vouchers targeting the more than 100 16 to 21-year-olds in Fairfax County who are homeless and trying to complete high school.